Relationship Rescue: Money Trouble

03:15 PM CST on Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Justin Farmer reports  

Pick up a magazine, watch Oprah—you name it—repairing and reviving relationships are on our minds.

A recent study conducted for Woman's Day magazine shows one-third of women wouldn't re-marry their current husbands.

In part one of Daybreak's Relationship Rescue, we tackle the thorny issue of money trouble.

"It's a source of lying and cheating," said family law attorney Steve Buholz, who has 35 years of experience. He sees couples torn apart because they just don't know how to talk about money.

"Openness. If you don't have it about money and relationships, you become a shell, and you start drifting farther apart," Buholz said.

If you can agree to be open, how do you do it?

Experts suggest online banking can help. That way, both partners can view and keep track of what the household costs are and talk about things.

If you feel the need to hide a purchase, chances are it may be problematic.

"The budget only gets more complicated with two people involved," said Pastor Gary Brandenberg of Fellowship Dallas Church, who counsels couples of all ages.

He suggests that once you can agree on open records, come to a meeting of minds on priorities, and look for places to cut spending.

"One time, a couple came in here with more expenditures than income, and I said, 'There's a slight problem here.' They said, 'We count on extra money,' so I said, 'Let's re-do the budget and not count on extra money."

Often, one spouse is the spender—one is the saver. Acknowledge these realities and set up a plan to keep your household out of debt.

Buholz said debt is an enemy of marriage, and both advisers agree that you should get help if your marriage can't get through a budget crisis.

Credit services and places of worship can get you started on the right path with people who can help.

Watch News 8 Daybreak Wednesday for Part 2 of Relationship Rescue: Intimacy.

E-mail jfarmer@wfaa.com